Apple Recalls iPhone

[JohnM]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/archive_rpt.asp?rec=6682&srch=

Apple Recalls iPhone; Forgot to Include ‘Phone’ Feature
Jobs: "Oops"

In what could prove to be the most embarrassing misstep in consumer electronics history, Apple Inc. announced today that it would recall its entire production run of the Apple iPhone after discovering that it had failed to include a “phone” feature in the much-hyped handheld device.

Speaking from Apple corporate headquarters, company founder Steve Jobs offered consumers his apology for the monumental goof and seemed to be searching for an explanation for how it could have occurred.

“First and foremost, we’re sorry,” a red-faced Mr. Jobs said in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. “When you make a product called the iPhone, people expect it to include a phone, and we messed that part up.”

Mr. Jobs suggested that Apple had been so focused on making the iPhone the “coolest handheld device ever” that it had forgotten to include one of the most important features of any cellular phone: “One thing people like about cell phones is that you can dial numbers into them and call people.”

Instead, he explained, Apple’s engineers had crammed the iPhone with a plethora of what he called “non-phonal features,” such as a camera, an MP3 player, a taser, and a tactical nuclear weapon.

While Mr. Jobs said that almost all of the nine million iPhones that had been shipped to stores were on their way back to Apple’s manufacturing plant, he offered advice to consumers who somehow had already obtained the phoneless iPhone: “Just hold it up to your head and pretend to be talking into it.”

:) :) :)
For the humor impaired: This is satire.

[gbrandwood]

Almost as embarrassing as when they forgot to include the industry standard XP support in their operating system. Glad they finally remedied that one too.

[Cody2526]

What's next?

Microsoft recalls VIsta because too many users complained it's missing the ability to run programs that are not part of the Operating System?

[Sharkie]

On the subject of Windows, for the longest time I thought Windows was a virus! Then I realized that a virus would do SOMETHING!

Jim

[Sal]

On the subject of Windows, for the longest time I thought Windows was a virus! Then I realized that a virus would do SOMETHING!

Jim

Thanks for making me smile this morning!

I helped a friend pick up a plasma television at Costco last night, and there on a pallet were stacks and stacks of Vista.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I like Windows (I'm a Mac Enthusiast to the core), but I took a look at the shiny package, and the pictures, glossy, and colorful, and thought (like all OSXers from the first iteration) - Looks nice, but its still running DOS behind the scenes. A new paint job and a few new parts doesn't a good OS make.

And then I read that the first service pack for Vista is already under development.

Anyway... I'm glad that MS has finally stepped up to the plate to provide a [more] secure and user friendly OS.

I hope that Vista is running on Apple hardware though, and then more users can see what UNIX / BSD / OSX is all about.

-Sal

[gbrandwood]

I'm waiting for MacOS to run in a virtual machine on Vista or XP, then I might get round to trying it out.

Sal, I thought the new Macs run on Intel hardware now? And, Microsoft have always released OSs that were more secure and user-friendly than the previous version, have they not?

[Sal]

Sal, I thought the new Macs run on Intel hardware now? And, Microsoft have always released OSs that were more secure and user-friendly than the previous version, have they not?

Gareth,

Oh, I'm not knocking MS on Vista, it is definitely a positive thing for the Windows world, and hopefully some of the nifty features can be swiped by Apple in Leopard.

As for Macs running on intel, it is true, now the entire product line is running on intel chips, but there's more to it than that. Apple Hawdware design / integration is second to none.

But you're right, the line between the Apple / non-Apple world is slightly blurred now.

I prefer the seamless hardware / software integration in the Mac world. And now in the Mac world, we have the best of both worlds Mac and Windows.

Parallels is one of the best things ever!

On another note, I think Office 2007 is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than Vista... the new interface for Office, a la the ribbon, and adaptive menus are absolutely something that is revolutionary! Viva MS on that one!
-Sal

[ryan_walters]

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I like Windows (I'm a Mac Enthusiast to the core), Looks nice, but its still running DOS behind the scenes. A new paint job and a few new parts doesn't a good OS make.

Lets remember that Windows vs Mac is not a fair comparison. Now Windows vs MacOS is fair, and PC vs Mac is fair. I'm not a big windows fan by any means, but like the PC platform. Mac is to PC like MacOS is to Windows.

I will disagree that modern windows is still running dos in the background though. That was true with Windows 3.x, 95, 98, ME. That hasn't been the case in NT based operating systems as in NT3, NT4, 2000, XP, and Vista.

[citivolus]

I'm waiting for MacOS to run in a virtual machine on Vista or XP, then I might get round to trying it out.

I don't know if it is still active but you can try pearpc from one of these links,
http://pearpc.sourceforge.net/
http://www.pearpc.net/

It takes a bit of work including making an install disc image but it isn't too bad. It is a little slow because it emulates PPC hardware, but it isn't too bad for just dinking around.

[gbrandwood]

Thanks, citivolus, I'll try that out. I'm hoping VMware will deliver the goods at some point.

[Cody2526]

Stop and think and you realize Vista is like the iPhone, just packed with more features, msot of which you'l lprobably never use, or if you will there's a program out there that will do it 100000000000X better than a cheap 5 minute MS program will offer.

Also has high system requirements and is pretty buggy right now.

[gbrandwood]

Oh yes - you're right. Why didn't I see the similarity. The iphone and Windows Vista. Blimey! Come to think of it, my Powerball is just like my Segway, minus a few features. And my powerball will do 16,000 rpm.

[slowride]

Elsewhere, the Fish and Wildlife Service said that it would remove wolves from the endangered species list and add Republicans.

Now that I'd like to see.